


Loving Is Easy

by Cassia28



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I'll write season 2 eventually, Lots of minor characters - Freeform, Mal is friends with all the murder boys so, Prison Station | Sky Box, Strangers to Lovers, The 100 (TV) Season 1, bisexual harper mcintyre, this is old and not very good sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23142829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassia28/pseuds/Cassia28
Summary: Mallory Shaw was arrested on the Ark when she was 8 years old. She was raised by a revolving door of teen delinquents and now they're all being sent to Earth. Who thought this was a good idea?
Relationships: Harper McIntyre/Zoe Monroe, John Murphy (The 100) & Original Character(s), Monty Green & Jasper Jordan, Monty Green/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

"Prisoner 237, Shaw Comma Mallory. Prison 274, Shepard Comma Dax." The guard shouts, making his voice echo around the metal cell. We're like two feet away from him but I guess shouting makes him feel tough.

"You know you don't have to say comma out loud, right?" I remind the guard, who insists on calling me Shaw Comma Mallory.

"One inmate per unit. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Well, at least once more." I say. Dax snorts and the guard's glare intensifies. He flicks out his shock baton. Before he could escalate the situation Atom walks by and does a double take at Dax and I sitting in his cell. Atom smirks before cupping his hands around his mouth to make sure everyone in our section can hear him.

"Mal is in Dax's cell… Again!" Everyone in the area whoops and hollers, even though I've never slept with Dax and they all know it. Teenage boys are so annoying.

"Prisoner 301, Holloway Comma Atom, get back." The guard flicks his baton again, shocking it against the doorway. Atom doesn't even bother dropping his smirk.

"Yeah, Holloway Comma Atom. Mind your own damn business." Dax tells him. Atom winks at me over the guard's shoulder before walking off.

"Prisoner 237, Shaw-"

"Comma Mallory, yeah I get it. What do you want?" I cut the guard off.

"All prisoners to their cells." He shocks the door with his baton again. "Now!"

"Oh my god, Dax, I'm like, so intimidated." I say in the most bored voice I can muster. Dax rolls his eyes and lays back in his bed. I think the trick to looking effortlessly cool is being a sociopath. The guard grabs my arm, stands me up, and pulls me out of Dax's cell, down the row to mine. Once I'm in, he lets me go but stands outside my cell with his arms crossed.

"All prisoners in their cells, now!" He shouts again, this time loud enough for the whole section to hear.

"What'd you do now, Mal?" Atom shouts at me from his cell across the room.

"I didn't do anything. Fuck off, Atom."

"Yeah! Fuck off, Atom." Jones adds from the cell next to Atom's.

"Fuck you, Jones."

"Prisoners!" The guard shocks his baton onto my door again. "Quiet down." As soon as everyone is in their cell, the guard presses a button on his walkie. Seconds later all the cell doors slam shut and a bunch of guards walk into our section. One by one they start dragging us out of our section of the Sky Box.

I'm not really worried about where we're going. Best case, it's some kind of holiday I forgot about where they make us watch some dumb video but we get snacks. Worst case, some kind of mass floating but it's only 5 months until I'm 18 anyway so it's not like I'd miss much. My cell door opens and a different guard than before is waiting for me.

"Prisoner 237, hold out your wrist." I hold out both my wrists for him to cuff but he slaps one away. He fastens a weird wristband around the other one and when it closes it digs into my skin making me wince.

"What the hell is that?" I yank my wrist back. The guard ignores me, grabbing my elbow and pulling me out of my cell. He drags me past all the other cells they've cleared and down a weird hallway. There's a line of kids from every section of the Sky Box, slowing moving through an airlock. So, mass floating it is.

"Mal!" Atom called from the front of the line.

"What?" I had to shout for him to hear me and everyone between us who wasn't used to our rowdiness either rolled their eyes or glared outright.

"Mal!" He shouted again. 

"What, Atom?"

"Are we getting floated?"

"How would I know?"

"We aren't getting floated, we're getting in a dropship." Some kid in front of Atom said. That caused everyone in line started talking, the noise level in the hallway rising considerably. A few guards tried to quiet them down but no one paid them any attention until they flicked out their shock batons. The line of delinquents quieted to a murmur until there was another shout from behind me.

"Look what you did, Atom!" John Mbege scolded sarcastically. Atom flipped Mbege the bird, causing a guard to threaten Atom with his baton which made Mbege laugh.

"Hey, this is Mal's fault. She was in Dax's cell again." I rolled my eyes at Atom's comment and the stupid shit that's bound to follow.

"Again?" Mbege asked, looking me up and down and smirking.

"Shut up, Atom! We weren't doing anything. I was in your cell this morning." Mbege whistles and I glare at him, making him smirk again.

"Slut!" Trina shouted from the head of the line. 

"Fuck you, Trina." Trina smirks at me from her spot in the line. She doesn't mean it but I'll still break her nose if she says it again. Or if anyone else says it.

"Prisoner 237, Shaw Comma Mallory," this fucking guy, "do you need to be restrained?"

"No." I bit back. Mbege snorts and the guard shifts his glare to him. A different guard puts his hand on Comma Guard's shoulder and whispers something in his ear. Comma Guard gives me one last glare before stalking down the hallway. The other guard nods at me and I roll my eyes. I know it's childish but the guards are annoying. Sending one away doesn't make us friends.

A few headache inducing minutes later the line starts moving forward quickly. The guards guide everyone into their seats on the dropship and buckle us in like little kids. They separate me from most of my friends. I'm squished between the wall of the ship and some kid I've never met before. Though, to be fair, I haven't met very many kids. I got arrested for petty theft when I was eight, so everyone I know is from my section of the Sky Box. The kid next to me and the boy on his other side talk non-stop while everyone else gets situated on this ship. Soon enough, we're disconnected from the Ark and flying through space and it's awful. I don't get how people like spacewalks and zero gravity. My hands are gripping onto the seat belt so tightly that my knuckles are white and the guy next to me definitely notices.

"What's your name?" The kid next to me asks.

"Why?"

"I'm Monty. Monty Green." He holds out his hand. Whether it's to shake or cling to I don't know, but I grab it tightly anyway. "I figure if we're gonna die next to each other I should know your name."

"Mallory Shaw." We hit the first layer of the atmosphere, making the ship shake and spark. I squeeze Monty's hand tighter. If it hurts, he doesn't show it. "Call me Mal." He nods.

"This is Jasper." He gestures to his friend with his other hand. Our conversation is cut off by the screens coming on and Chancellor Jaha's face popping up.

"Prisoners of The Ark, hear me now. You've been given a second chance, and as your Chancellor, it is my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you, but a chance for all of us, indeed for mankind itself. We have no idea what is waiting for you down there. If the odds of survival were better, we would've sent others. Frankly, we're sending you because your crimes have made you expendable." I hate him so much.

"Your dad's a dick, Wells!" Someone shouts, making everyone laugh.

"Those crimes will be forgiven, your records wiped clean." Jaha continues, obviously not able to hear us in the dropship. "The drop site has been chosen carefully. Before the last war, Mount Weather was a military base built within a mountain. It was to be stocked with enough non-perishables to sustain three hundred people for up to two years." Everyone looks away from the screen when Finn Collins unbuckles and starts floating around the ship.

"Spacewalk Bandit strikes again!" Someone else calls and people whoop, encouraging Finn. Finn is infamous in our section of the Sky Box. Half for space walking and half for being a literal waste of oxygen. Our section of the Sky Box was infamous for being violent assholes mostly. Jaha's voice carried on, just barely audible over the teens on the ship.

"Mount Weather is life. You must locate those supplies immediately. Your one responsibility is stay alive." The ship hits the final layer of the atmosphere and gravity kicks in. Two kids go flying across the room, breaking some pipes and wires in the process. Jaha cuts out and the wires send sparks all around the room making me flinch. The ship sails through the sky for way too long. Monty squeezes my hand again. I'm surprised he can still move it, given how tightly I've been clinging to it the entire time.

The parachutes finally deploy. When we land the dropship echos with cheers and screams. I keep a hold on Monty's hand until everyone starts unbuckling and walking around freely. We all surge forward towards the hatch to the bottom floor and I let the crowd push me forward. The floor above us opens their hatch before we can even start climbing down and starts shoving their way through. The person on the ladder gets shoved and Dax jumps down to my floor after them. I should have known he was the one doing the shoving. He's been my neighbor for 3 years. Atom does the weird boy thing where they slap each other on the back really hard in a 'friendly' gesture and then Dax sees me.

"Mallory!" He shoves two people out of the way so he can grab me, making me shout in surprise. He throws me over his shoulder and I try not to kick anyone in the process, it doesn't work and I catch a guy in the chin. Only one person from our floor has made it down the ladder so far but that doesn't stop Dax from shoving his way back to the hatch and dangling me over the hole.

"Drop her!"

"Fuck you, Atom!" Atom's upside down smirk distracts me for a split second before Dax half drops me through the hatch feet first, thank god. Someone shouts for us to hurry up and he drops me completely, almost 7 feet the the bottom level of the dropship. I really need new friends.

The main door of the ship still isn't open. But that doesn't stop everyone from pushing forward and crowding onto the bottom level of the ship.

"That's Octavia Blake, the girl they found hidden in the floor." Someone from the front says. Octavia lunges for them but some guy holds her back.

"Who cares? Open the fucking door!" I yell. A few seconds later, they finally open it. Everyone rushes forward again and I let the crowd propel me outside.

So, this is what Earth looks like. Trees and grass and plants everywhere like Farm Station on steroids. The vibrant green hue is almost blinding after spending my life on the dull gray Ark. The sun is shining down on us and everything around us. I knew the sun would look different on the Earth but this is… it's amazing. The heat on my skin contrasts with the cool, wet grass brushing against my exposed ankles. The smell of the forest is almost overwhelming. Floral and fresh. I've read every book about Earth I could get my grubby little hands on but nothing can compare to actually being here. I almost want to cry, but I won't. Everyone is serene for a moment, even the violent offenders. They let themselves truly appreciate the Earth for the first time.

We're quickly brought back to reality by some blonde bitch with a map. Then of course, Murphy picks a fight with someone. Mbege comes out of nowhere, slings his arm around my shoulders, and drags me over to the group forming around Murphy and the other guy. The blonde girl is trying to get everyone to go on some dumb hike to get food.

"We need to get to Mount Weather not because the Chancellor said so, but because the longer we wait, the hungrier we'll get and the harder this'll be. How long do you think we'll last without those supplies? We're looking at a twenty-mile trek, okay? So if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave now."

"I got a better idea. You two go, find it for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change." Octavia's brother suggests. A few kids loudly agree with him.

"You're not listening. We all need to go!" The boy stressed, trying to get anyone other than the blonde to listen to him. Murphy leaps forward and shoves him.

"Look at this, everybody…" Murphy threw his arms out and gestured around the group "the Chancellor of Earth!" The other guy scowls at Murphy.

"Think that's funny?" Instead of answering, Murphy kicks the guys ankle out from under him, snapping it and making him drop to the ground.

"Wells!" The blonde girl tries to help Wells off the ground but Mbege grabs her and holds her back, pushing me into the boys I was next to on the dropship, Monty and… someone.

Wells stands up and gets into a fighting stance, albeit with a slight limp, and Murphy doesn't hesitate to mirror his position. Murphy should hesitate, I've fought him more than once and I always win. Before they can get any hits in Finn Collins jumps off the dropship and lands between the two fighting boys.

"Kids got one leg. How about you wait 'till it's a fair fight?"

"Screw that. Go for the eyes, Murphy!" I yell, trying to get some excitement back. Mbege rolls his eyes and shoves me.

"Excuse her, she was raised in a prison." Mbege tells the boys he knocked me into. Murphy is too busy trying to stare down Finn to care about what I said. Octavia jumps down and saunters over to Finn.

"Hey Spacewalker, rescue me next." She flirts, making everyone around them chuckle. Murphy finally gives up and walks off, dragging Mbege behind him. Monty and his friend turn to me. John… James… Jazz… Jasper! Monty and his friend Jasper.

"Were you really raised in the Sky Box?" Monty asks. Jaspers eyes flick to me before going back to ogling Octavia.

"Kind of. I got locked up when I was eight." Dax suddenly comes up behind me and gives Monty and Jasper his 'I'm a spooky murderer' look that works way too well on strangers.

"Who's your friend, Mal?"

"This is Monty! And his friend Jackson. Uh, Jasper." Dax snorts and looks Jasper up and down. Jasper shifts uncomfortably under Dax's gaze and Monty frowns. Before I can try to ease the tension, Finn jumps in again. This time just dragging Monty and Jasper away from us.

"You shouldn't tease guys like that, Mal." Dax scolds me. He starts dragging me through people to our small friend group.

"I'm not teasing anyone. I'm making friends!" Dax glances back at me and snorts.

"They don't want to be your friend, doll."

"Fuck off, Dax. Don't you have small animals to torture or something?" I ask. Atom laughs and pulls me away from Dax, into his chest.

"Mal, you are the small animal he tortures." Atom says. Dax glares at Atom. Jones and Connor laugh. I shove Atom away from me, making Jones laugh even louder.

"Shut up." Atom shoves me back and I stumble into Jones. "You all suck." Jones shoves me too, making me stumble into Murphy who just walked up to our group with Mbege right behind him.

"Watch it, Shaw. I almost stabbed you." Murphy shoves me too, and Dax grabs my shoulders to keep me steady.

"Stabbed her with what?" Atom asks, actually acknowledging the reason Murphy came over in the first place.

"Check it out. I made a knife with metal from the dropship." Everyone crowds around Murphy as he proudly shows off his new weapon. The boys are easily impressed.

"Cool." Jones mutters before trying to grab it. Murphy pulls it away from the group and Atom smirks at Jones' defeated look.

"Show me how, Murphy." I tell him. Murphy stares at me for a second before sighing. He nods his head towards the ship and I follow him, not without a suggestive look from Atom. That boy is never not thinking about sex. He's ridiculous. Murphy doesn't even like me, he only hangs out with us because of Mbege.

Murphy shows me how to make knives. He even shows me where he carved his initials into them and lets me copy him, with an 'M' for Mal and a little heart on each knife I make. Eventually, Murphy wanders off to harass Wells Jaha. Not long after Murphy leaves, Atom plops down on the ground next to me. I glance up at him but focus back on the weapon I'm sharpening.

"Cute heart."

"Thank you."

"Bet I could make a better knife than you." I roll my eyes and Atom grins at the gesture. "We should make more than knives. Spears and shit… for hunting, like in Earth Skills." Atom's actually smart when he's not around the other guys.

"That's actually a good idea." I tell him. He nudges my arm with his shoulder. "You get sticks, I'll make the blade part."

"Cool." Atom easily agrees. He gets up and walks into the forest, bringing Dax and Jones with him. Octavia's brother glances between the group and I before settling on me and walking over.

"What are you doing?"  
"Making weapons. They're getting wood." He squats next to me and picks up one of the knives.

"What the 'M' for?"

"Mallory." He nods, examining the knife still.

"I'm Bellamy."

"Cool."

"Let me see your wrist." I give him a weird look but hold out my wrist with the wristband on it. He grabs it and holds it tightly with one hand, holding my knife in the other.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I ask, suddenly nervous. He jams the knife into my wristband making the needles dig into my skin. "Ow! Dude, what the hell?" I try to pull my wrist back but he doesn't let go. He just digs the knife deeper into the wristband. I grab one of the other knives I've made, about to press it against his throat before Murphy and Mbege run over.

"Hey, hey, hey, be careful!" Murphy scolds, yanking my knife out of my hand. The action almost knocking me over and making my wristband dig further into my wrist.

"Get off of me!" I yell. We start getting attention from everyone around us. Murphy grabs my shoulders, holding me still as best as he can. My legs are stuck under me and with Murphy holding me down I can't kick them out. Bellamy wiggles the wristband that still won't come off. Blood starts dribbling from my wrist before Mbege steps in.

"Dude, be careful." Mbege says. Murphy ignores his friend and my struggling. "Dax'll kill you if you hurt her."

"Fuck Dax. I'll kill you myself!" Bellamy doesn't even blink but Murphy's hold on me loosens for a split second. Atom shows up on the edge of the tree line but he's on the other side of the dropship.

"Hold on. I've almost got it." Bellamy twists the knife again and I almost yell out in pain but I keep it to a quiet wince. The boys get over to us just as my wristband pops off and drops to the ground. Bellamy smiles triumphantly.

"What the hell's going on?" Atom uses his 'tough guy' voice as he walks over to us. He, Dax, Connor and Jones drop the wood they got from the forest into a pile and Bellamy stands up. Murphy finally lets me go and I stand up quickly. I make a quick lunge for Bellamy, scratching his cheek with my nails before Jones grabs me around the waist and pulls me away. Atom steps between me and Bellamy, looking at the wristband.

"Nothing. I just needed her wristband." Bellamy holds up the stupid metal bracelet as evidence. "If the Ark thinks we're dead, they won't send a bunch of guards and Council members down here to lock us up again." He explains to them but he couldn't just ask me first?

"Fuck you, Bellamy!" I rub my still bleeding wrist with my hand. Bellamy barely glances at me, instead making eye contact with all the guys surrounding him.

"These wristbands are from the Ark. The people who locked us up, floated our parents, and sent us down here to die from radiation. Why should we let them risk our lives while they sit comfortably in the Ark, huh?" Bellamy's voice gradually gets louder as the crowd around us grows. "I say screw them. Why should they get to enjoy Earth after we do all the work?" He's right, but he's still an asshole.

Dax nods slowly, soaking in everything Bellamy says, before holding out his wristband. Bellamy grins triumphantly and Murphy slaps him on the back. They all walk over to a big rock and Dax puts his wristband on it, letting Bellamy break it off. The crowd around them cheers. Jones lets go of me now that Bellamy is too far away for me to hurt him and he joins them. A line starts forming to take off wristbands.

"You okay?" Atom whispers the question in my ear and throws his arm over my shoulders.

"I'm fine." He gives me a disbelieving look but lets me shrug his arm off me. "That's my knife." Bellamy took the knife I made, even after he hurt me with it. Atom laughs lightly.

"You'll get it back. Don't worry." I cross my arms over my chest and Atom's smile flickers. "You sure you're okay?"

"I said I'm fine, Atom. I just don't like being held down and cut by some asshole I don't even know." Atom nods sympathetically and I let him nudge me with his shoulder.

"Should I give them my wristband?" He asks. I sigh.

"Yeah. Just cause he's an ass doesn't mean he's wrong." Atom grins at me before walking over to Bellamy, cutting in line, and holding his wrist out. I watch the crowd for a few more minutes before letting my anger go and joining them.

"It's starting to get dark. We should build a fire." I suggest. Bellamy glances up at me and nods.

"Atom, Jones, use that wood you found to start a fire."

"Whatever you say, boss." Jones says, talking to Bellamy but winking at me.

"Fuck you, Jones. It was my idea." He ruffles my hair as he walks past me. Condescending assholes. I try not to pout when I sit on a stump behind Bellamy and Murphy. They busy themselves by taking off as many wristbands as they can. Eventually they are able to do it with minimal pain. I recognize the girl, Fox, who's next and she smiles at me before holding out her wristband. Murphy grabs her and yanks her over the fire until she's almost screaming and he pops off her wristband. He holds it in the air and the crowd cheers again.

"Who's next?" Bellamy demands, more than asks.

"What the hell are you doing?" Wells demands, storming over to us.

"We're liberating ourselves. What does it look like?" There goes Bellamy with his weird ass cult leader speech. He would have made a good council member with the speeches and the little regard for my suffering and everything.

"It looks like you're trying to get us all killed. The communication system is dead. These wristbands are all we've got. Take them off, and the Ark will think we're dying, that it's not safe for them to follow." Wells tries to reason with everyone, but they won't listen.

"That's the point, Chancellor. We can take care of ourselves, can't we?" Bellamy rallies the crowd and they cheer in response.

"You think this is a game? Those aren't just our friends and our parents up there. They're our farmers, our doctors, our engineers. I don't care what he tells you. We won't survive here on our own, and besides, if it really is safe, how could you not want the rest of our people to come down?"

"My people already are down here. Those people locked my people up. Those people killed my mother for the crime of having a second child. Your father did that."

"My father didn't write the laws."

"No. He enforced them, but not anymore, not here. Here, there are no laws." The crowd cheers again. "Here, we do whatever the hell we want whenever the hell we want. Now, you don't have to like it, Wells. You can even try to stop it or change it, kill me. You know why? Whatever the hell we want." This isn't going to end well, is it?

"Whatever the hell we want!" Murphy echos Bellamy and the crowd start chanting with him. Bellamy and Wells try to stare each other down and thunder cracks, as if on cue. Rain start pouring from the sky and this time I join everyone in cheering.

Rain is incredible. Fresh water falling from the sky, I mean, come on! I kind of understand how it works, but honestly it's cooler if you don't think about the science behind it. I've always preferred magic to science. I throw my arms out, no longer giving a shit if anyone sees me being childish, and spin. And spin and spin and spin until I lose my balance and have to grab onto Dax and Jones to keep me upright. The rain plasters my hair to the my face and I have to keep brushing it back to keep it out of my eyes until another girl takes a hair tie off her wrist and pulls my hair back for me.

"I'm Harper." She shouts into my ear so I can hear her over the rain and the screaming delinquents.

"I'm Mal!" Harper finishes putting my hair in a ponytail and I grab her hand, spinning her in the rain with me.

Slowly the rain eases into a light drizzle. Around the same time, people start getting tired. The guys decide to sleep in the dropship and I drag Harper with me. It's been a while since I've had a good friend that's a girl. Not because I don't want them, I would have gone crazy if there weren't any older girls in the Sky Box with me. I think girls are just better at crime than boys and get caught later and less often.

Harper eyes Dax wearily, probably aware of his reputation, but I smile reassuringly at her. Dax, Jones, Atom, Connor, Murphy, and Mbege are all spread out on the floor of the dropship, effectively claiming an entire floor just for themselves.

"Guys, this is Harper. Harper's joining us." Murphy grunts, which is his usual response when I say anything. Atom looks Harper up and down and grins.

"The more the merrier." Harper gives me another concerned look and I kick Atom.

"Don't worry. They're all talk." I let Harper have the spot by the wall though, just in case. And I squeeze between her and Atom. I may be friends with these guys but I'm not reckless.

"Harper, this is Atom, Jones, Connor, Dax, Murphy, and Mbege." I tell her, pointing out each one in turn. She probably already knows but whatever, it's polite. Harper gives them an apprehensive smile and for the most part, they ignore us. Not twenty minutes later, we're all asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Harpers fingers brush through my hair in a way that's both comforting and incredibly painful. Probably my fault for sleeping with it wet but still, ow. She eventually gets the knots out enough to braid it tightly and secures it with the tie she gave me last night.

"All done!"

"Thank you, Harper! You're an angel. The last time I had someone help with my hair Atom got a comb stuck in it and the girl he stole it from broke my hand."

"She broke your hand?"

"Well, I punched her… But still." Harper gives me a weird look but still laughs loudly.

"Is Atom your boyfriend?"

"Ew. No."

"I heard that!" Atom shouts from outside the dropship door. The guys are on some hopeless breakfast mission or bothering people, whatever is it they do when I'm not around. Harper and I laugh.

"Dax?" I wrinkle my nose and she giggles. "Girlfriend?"

"Nope! In the Sky Box I had zero privacy and in case you haven't noticed, my friends are kind of aggressive." She widens her eyes in agreement and the action makes me laugh.

"Cute though." I go full-girly and gasp, clutching her knee and leaning forward.

"Which one?" She blushes and shrugs, glancing at the door where Atom was just listening.

"Hey! Atom, I'll give you literally anything if you walk in right now." The two of us pause, giving Atom a chance to walk in but he never comes. I turn back to Harper with wide eyes.

"Okay! Fine." She leans towards me to keep her voice as quiet as possible. "Mbege… and kind of Atom, but like in a weird way." I nod in agreement.

"You could totally get either of them!"

"Really?" She crinkles her nose and thinks about it before shaking her head. The two of us laugh again. Suddenly the hatch above us opens. A girl I don't know and a shirtless Bellamy climb down the ladder. The girl smiles smugly and Bellamy gives us an equally proud smirk before they leave the dropship. Harper and I share a look before breaking out into another fit of laughter.

"I didn't even know they were up there!"

"Me neither. You'd think we'd have heard something." Harper snorts.

"Maybe he's not that good."

"But god, his abs!" Harper adds, the two of us barely able to speak through the laughter.

"He's so annoying but he's so fit." Harper nods, agreeing with me.

We're broken out of our laughter by a girl screaming outside. The two of us jump up and race outside where we find Murphy holding a girl over the fire in a painful looking hold.

"Bellamy. Check it out. We want the Ark to think that the ground is killing us, right? Figure it'll look better if we suffer a little bit first." Murphy suggests proudly.

"Let her go!" Wells rushes at Murphy, knocking him onto the ground. He turns to Bellamy. "You can stop this."

"Stop this? I'm just getting started." Before Wells can reply Murphy leaps up and punches him in the jaw. Wells quickly gets his footing back and the two fight savagely until Wells gets Murphy on the ground. The crowd around them cheers and eggs them on. Wells stands and tries to reason with Bellamy again.

"Can't you see you can't control this?" Behind him Murphy pulls out a knife and stands up.

"Murphy!" I try to stop him, sliding down the small hill in the process, but Bellamy holds his arm out to stop me.

"Wait!" Instead of stopping them Bellamy pulls out another knife and drops it at Wells' feet. "Fair fight."

"Bellamy, they'll kill each other!" He ignores my protests, pushing me back so they have more room to fight. Wells grabs the knife, dodging Murphy's jabs. Murphy slices him across the arm and gets cocky, allowing Wells to get the upper hand and hold the knife to Murphy's throat. Before it can go any further Clarke comes running out of the forest, Finn right behind her.

"Wells! Let him go!" Wells immediately lets Murphy go. But Murphy tries to use the distraction to go after him again. Bellamy cuts him off but drops him the second he sees Octavia and Monty come limping out of the forest. I stand between Murphy and Wells, who are still staring each other down. I probably couldn't stop both of them but if they tried to go through me someone else would surely help.

"Where's the food?" Bellamy asks as soon as Octavia is safely in his arms.

"We didn't make it to Mount Weather." Finn tells him.

"What the hell happened out there?" Bellamy questions the group.

"We were attacked." Clarke answers. I don't know why my first thought is Monty but I glance at him anyway.

"Attacked?" Wells asks.

"By what?" I ask at the same time.

"Not what. Who." Finn answers me before turning back to Bellamy. "It turns out, when the last man from the ground died on the Ark, he wasn't the last Grounder."

"It's true. Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here, survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive. Radiation won't kill us." Clarke speaks to the crowd.

"Bad news is, the grounders will." Finn says.

"Where's the kid with the goggles?" Wells asks. I didn't even notice Jasper was missing.

"Jasper was hit. They took him. Where's your wristband?" Clarke asks.

"Ask him." Wells nods towards Bellamy. Clarke takes a dangerous step towards Bellamy.

"How many?"

"Twenty-four and counting." Murphy tells her proudly. I rub my bruised wrist at the memory. Clarke takes a sharp breath.

"You idiots. Life support on the Ark is failing. That's why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you're not just killing them. You're killing us!" Bellamy pauses before shaking his head at her and turning towards the crowd.

"We're stronger than you think. Don't listen to her. She's one of the privileged. If they come down, she'll have it good. How many of you can say the same? We can take care of ourselves. That wristband on your arm? It makes you a prisoner. We are not prisoners anymore! They say they'll forgive your crimes. I say you're not criminals! You're fighters, survivors! The Grounders should worry about us!" The crowd cheers at Bellamy's words. Clarke shakes her head and storms off, Monty following after her.

A while later, Harper and I are sitting with Octavia in some seats we ripped out of the dropship. Clarke and Bellamy left with Murphy, Wells, and Finn, and they left Atom in charge which is ridiculous. We're supposed to be building a wall but instead we're playing a game Harper made up. I don't understand the rules which is probably why she keeps winning.

"Hey, guys, the walls not gonna build itself." Atom scolds us.

"Walls won't stop what's out there. We need weapons." Octavia sasses him. Atom walks over and stands over her. Octavia ignores him and eyes Dax, who's working up a sweat while working on the wall.

"So make weapons. Mal knows how." He sighs and steps closer to Octavia. "Look, your brother wasn't kidding about that. He'll hurt any of these guys." I had to stop myself from snorting at the thought of Bellamy trying to fight Dax.

"Come on." Octavia complains. "We were just talking about how you're too hot to be my brothers bitch." I couldn't stop myself that time and started laughing. Harper blushes and Atom glares at me.

"I'm no ones bitch."

"Good. Then prove it." Octavia stands, making eyes at Atom before sauntering over to Dax, whispering in his ear, and leading him to the dropship. Atom glares at the two of them.

"You might wanna tell her that Dax killed someone." I suggest. Atom shifts his glare back to me."You know if you keep it up your face will get stuck like that." He storms after Octavia.

"Did Dax actually kill a guy?" Harper asks me with wide eyes.

"Yeah." I shrug. "Guy stole something from him. At least that's what Dax told me. I wouldn't bet on a fight between Bellamy and Dax, though. Too close." Harper thinks about it for a second, her eyebrows scrunching together.

"Should we help with the wall or something?" I shrug again at her question.

"Why? My best friend is running the camp. Let's reap the benefits." She smiles in agreement. We stay relaxed in our seats until Dax and Atom come out of the dropship, Octavia nowhere in sight.

"Atom?" I shout at him from my seat and he glances over at me with a small glare. "Where's the girl?" Dax glares at Atom and goes back to the wall. Why do so many of our interactions involve glaring at each other? Why are all my friends so grumpy all the time?

"She's uh, in detention." Atom tells me before rushing off to continue working. "Do something productive." He adds over his shoulder.

"I'm gonna help carry wood." Harper says, standing and brushing the dirt off her pants.

"I'm gonna make sure Octavia isn't dead." I can tell that Harper doesn't know whether to take me seriously or not. Sometimes I don't know either. I go to the dropship and find the lower level empty. The hatch is locked so I unlock it and climb up. Octavia and Monty are sitting around some electronic… uh… thingy.

"Good. You aren't dead." Octavia smiles at my comment and Monty glances up from his work.

"Did you unlock it? Atom locked me in."

"Yeah. He does that… he and Jones locked me in a closet for a whole day before a guard found me."

"I thought you were friends?" Monty asks. I shrug.

"We are. He's my best friend." Monty and Octavia share a look I've seen a thousand times. "Can I join you?" They both nod and I sit next to Monty's contraption.

"What are you doing?" Octavia asks, relaxing on the floor and watching Monty work.

"Trying to use the wristbands to communicate with the Ark." I have no idea how technology works. They don't teach tech or mechanics classes in the Sky Box. Just basic reading, math, and Earth Skills. He sighs and puts his tools down. "It's not working, though. I think I need an active wristband." He looks over at me and I hold up my bruised and scratched wrist. Octavia winces.

"Sorry. No go. Bellamy and Murphy held me down."

"Bellamy did that?" Octavia asks, suddenly a hundred times more concerned. I nod and tuck my wrist behind my back so they quit looking at it. "Here, try mine." Octavia offers, holding her wrist out for Monty. It's quiet for awhile, the three of us concentrating on the wristband until Monty sighs loudly and stops.

"It's too quiet."

"Tell me about Jasper." Octavia encourages. Monty smiles sadly at her and suddenly I feel like I'm intruding.

"I've known him all my life. He's my best friend, practically my brother. He may not be my real brother, but he's always been there. Every memory I have, there's Jasper." He stops working on the wristband and looks up at Octavia. "I should be out there."

"You're not gonna cry, are you?" She asks him skeptically and he smiles.

"Shut up." Octavia giggles at Monty. I'm definitely intruding. Oh god, how do I leave without making it weird? "You sure about this? Your brother won't approve of you helping us contact the Ark."

"He's not my keeper. Let's just do this. Let's do it." He breaks the wristband off, shocking her in the process and she curses. "Sorry." All three of us lean towards the wristband, just to see it flicker and turn off.

"Dead." Monty announces solemnly. "Damn it."

"If we can't even take it off, how do you expect to turn it into a radio?" Before Monty can answer her there's a clanging noise and Atom opens the hatch door. He glares at me briefly before turning to Octavia.

"Go on." Monty urges her. "I'll be fine. Work to do." Octavia ruffles his hair before rushing to the ladder.

"Hey, Monty? Jasper would understand why you stayed."

"How is someone raised beneath the floor not a total basket case?" He asks. Octavia smirks.

"Who says I'm not?" She disappears down the ladder. Monty smiles at the spot Octavia was standing in for a second before going back to his work. I try to get over to the ladder without distracting him but he looks up at me.

"You're leaving too?"

"Oh. I uh, didn't want to bother you." I gesture to his pile of wristbands and he looks down at them. "Um, sorry." I say before ducking down the ladder and leaving the dropship as quickly as I can. God that was so awkward. I'm never talking to Monty again he probably thinks I'm so weird. I'm going to die. I quickly find Dax and start helping him chop wood with an axe he made.

"Why do you look like that?"  
"Like what?"

"Your face is all red. You gonna puke or something?"

"No. Fuck off, Dax." He huffs and rolls his eyes. I take his axe and he sets a piece of wood up for me to chop. The rhythm is kind of calming and he gladly stacks wood while I chop so he can take a break. I can spend all my days with murderers and thieves but one cute boy makes me stutter and blush. He's not even that cute. He's just sweet and hasn't beaten anyone to death, probably. I'm not used to being around that kind of guy. That's all!

"Mal."

"What?"

"Mallory!"

"What?" Dax yanks the axe from my hand.

"Pay attention or you'll cut my hand off, stupid." Oh. My bad. Dax gives me an annoyed look and I shrug. He puts another chunk of wood on the block before handing me the axe and I swing my arms up. Someone yells, distracting me again. In the blink of an eye Dax rips the axe from my hands and holds the blade up to my neck.

"Pay attention." He repeats lowly.

"Whoa, cool it." Connor walks up slowly behind Dax, who keeps eye contact with me. Connor nervously grabs Dax's hand, pulling the axe away. Dax glares at me one last time before storming away to join the crowd gathering around the fire. "Dax with an axe. Is that a good idea?" Connor asks once Dax is out of earshot.

"I really wish that the amount of violent criminals with weapons in this camp was our biggest issue, Connor. Dax doesn't scare me." He hands me the axe.

"Grudge match?" Connor suggests.  
"I said he didn't scare me. Not that I'm stupid."

"Pussy." Connor says with a smirk. I push him lightly.

"Bitch."

"Coward." I roll my eyes at him. "Grudge match?" He suggests again.

"You really want to see me fight, don't you?" I ask. He winks at me. "Maybe after we find food." Connor mhmms and eyes me with another smirk.

"Coward." He says again. He saunters off before I can react. I know he's being annoying just so I'll fight him but damn it, it's working. Plus there hasn't been a good fight since we landed, just Murphy and Wells. Screw it. I join the group around the fire.

"Connor, grudge match. Tomorrow." Connor grins and a few people from our section on the Sky Box cheer. Mbege slaps me on the back encouragingly. Everyone loves a good grudge match. Octavia and Atom join us by the fire, looking awfully cozy to anyone with eyes. I raise my eyebrow at Atom who smiles in return before Octavia distracts him by grabbing for his hand. That's fucking adorable. Bellamy is going to kill Atom though.

"They're back!" Someone shouts. Octavia shoots up, rushing to meet Jasper and Bellamy at the edge of the camp. Finn and Wells carry Jasper into the dropship. Clarke and Monty follow them inside. No offense to Jasper, but I'm more interested in whatever animal Bellamy and Murphy brought to roast over the fire.

"Who's hungry?" The camp cheers.

An hour later we're finally able to eat. Bellamy is making people trade wristbands for food but he already took mine so… not my problem. At least not until Finn walks up and grabs a stick for himself without trading a wristband and Murphy tries to pick a fight with him. I don't know why I keep trying to stop Murphy from fighting people who are bigger than him. I don't particularly like him and he gets in fights constantly, but I keep butting in. I can't help myself. He kind of reminds me of myself when I was like 11 and thought I could fight a 17 year old murderer. Whatever it is, it makes me stand almost directly between Murphy and Finn.

"You think you play by different rules?" Murphy asks.

"I thought there were no rules." Instead of lunging for Finn, Murphy just stares. Bellamy eyes Finn and Clarke when she saunters by with a smug smile on her face. The two of them inspire some kid to step out of line and try to grab a piece of meat without giving up his wristband. Bellamy won't have it. He stops the kid and punches him, making significant eye contact with Murphy after. Harper catches my eye from across the fire and glances at her wristband, so I grab a stick of meat for her. When Murphy glares at me I show him by still bruised wrist and he rolls his eyes. What a jackass. When he turns away I grab a second stick and go into the dropship. Harper follows me seconds later and we find Monty with Jasper. I give Harper one stick and Monty the second.

"Thanks." Harper grins at me and gets comfortable on the dropship floor. Monty looks between the food and Jasper for a second before taking it and nodding in thanks.

"Don't worry about it. Just don't let Murphy see."

"What are you going to eat?" Harper asks.

"What? You think I can't take Murphy? I'll just get another one." Harper smiles. Monty barely acknowledges us but at least he's eating. He won't do anyone any good if he starves to death. That's why I did it, obviously. I start walking out of the dropship to join the guys around the fire but Harper stops me.

"You're leaving?" I shrug.

"Gotta find Atom before Bellamy kills him over Octavia."


	3. Chapter 3

It doesn't take me too long to find Atom. He's tied to a tree and he's being pretty vocal about it. It takes me a bit longer to scale the tree and cut him down. Atom lands in a heap on the ground and I jump down next to him.

"Thanks." He mutters. He holds out his wrists that are still bound and I cut the rope for him.

"Yeah, well, I can't have Bellamy killing my best friend now can I?" I ask sarcastically. Atom rolls his eyes and rubs his wrists where the ropes burned him. "Who helped?"

"Murphy and Mbege." Atom doesn't even blink before giving the guys up.

"Not surprising. Murphy's been Bellamy's right hand man since we landed. How are your arms?" Atom shrugs, which means they hurt. I sit down, leaning against the tree trunk and trying to get comfortable in the dirt. Atom scoots next to me and presses his shoulder into mine. We sit in silence for a few minutes until I get bored.

"So… Octavia?"

"Yeah."

"Is she worth it?" Atom pauses but nods.

"Yeah… no. I don't know."

"Wow, that's real sweet, Atom."  
"Shut up."

"No. Really," I look into his eyes so he knows I'm serious, "I'm happy for you." Atom groans.

"Shut up." I nudge him with my shoulder and he gives in, laughing along with me.

"Did you kiss?"

"Yes."  
"Was it romantic?" Atom rolls his eyes again but indulges me.

"Kind of. I guess. There were butterflies. The blue ones around camp that glow."

"That's so cute!"

"Shut up."

"Let me live vicariously through you, please."

"Still haven't kissed anyone?" I glare at him which he takes as a 'no'. "So you didn't want to die a virgin but you won't kiss anyone?"

"Shut up." I steal Atom's catchphrase.

"Let's reminisce." Oh god, Atom's idea of reminiscing is just reminding me of every embarrassing thing I've done since we met. I groan and Atom wraps his arm around my shoulders to keep me from running away. "Remember when I took your virginity?"

"Wow, Atom! Really?" He smirks proudly and I roll my eyes. "Don't look so proud, you were the only one in the Sky Box I could trust not to hurt me."

It's not as bad as it sounds. Around my 16th birthday I suddenly got really scared of being floated and dying without doing anything cool. There aren't many rites of passage for us on the Ark, especially when you and all your friends have to die the second you turn 18. I decided that I wanted to have sex for the first time but I'd never dated or anything, so I asked Atom. He agreed, and after we set some ground rules (like no kissing and no telling) we did it. I guess it's kind of weird but, whatever.

"Yeah, yeah. Make excuses. We both know I'm the hottest guy around."

"Shut up, Atom." He laughs again. "Remember when you broke your wrist and cried like a baby and made me hold you?" This time Atom is the awkward one and I laugh at his pain. We fall into a comfortable silence and eventually Atom leans further into the tree, pulling me with him.

"What are you doing?"

"Sleeping."

"Out here?"

"Unless you want to deal with Bellamy." He reasons. I give in easily at the thought of Bellamy complaining for hours about me cutting Atom down.

"Fine." I curl into his side and the two of us sleep.

We're woken up by yelling in the camp. Must be Jasper, I guess. I'm thankful for it though because immediately after we here Murphy's voice and the sound of boots trampling the plants. I shoot up, giving Atom a quick glance, and dash around the side of the tree to hide. They'll know it's me but I don't have to make it easy for them. Once they're close enough to Atom I run as quietly as I can back to camp. I make it back to the fire just seconds before Bellamy comes storming back into camp, the three boys at his heel. I try to look casual. It seems like Bellamy doesn't care enough to do anything anyway, as he eventually wanders off. Once he does, Atom scampers away too. Murphy and Mbege come to the fire, Mbege sitting close to me and Murphy pretending I don't exist.

"I know it was you." Mbege whispers into my ear. I shrug and try to look innocent.

"What was me?" He just smirks at me. Jones wanders over to our small group with a worried look on his face.

"Any of you seen Trina or Pascal?" I try to remember seeing either of them around but can't.

"Not since the Ark." The Johns don't have anything to add and Jones walks away dejectedly. Bellamy calls for Murphy and Murphy loyally follows, leaving Mbege and I alone at the fire. Harper joins us a few minutes later.

"Some of the guys are going hunting. We're on wall duty."

"What? That's sexist." Harper nods in agreement.

"Totally. But I don't really want to kill things so… wall duty it is." She's right but still. Mbege looks between Harper and I for a second before shaking his head no.

"Screw that. I'm going hunting." He walks off. Harper pulls me up from my spot on the ground and the two of us start working on the wall.

A scream a few hours later makes Harper and I freeze, nearly dropping the log we're carrying. People start shouting and running for the dropship when a weird yellow fog blows through the camp. The fog is faster than us and before we can all get inside we start feeling the effects. It fucking burns, to put it simply. Someone grabs my arm and drags me over to Jasper while I'm too busy trying not to scream in pain. They use the rag and bowl of bloody water to wash the acid off my exposed skin.

"What the fuck was that?" The person who helped me doesn't answer. They move on to someone else who got caught in the fog. Harper comes over to help me and I can't help but notice that none of my other friends bother. Assholes.

Eventually everyone starts to calm down and since we can't go outside to work on the wall everyone decides to go to bed early. No one can deal with Jasper's moaning except Octavia so we sit in the bottom level and close the hatch. It doesn't help.

I don't know whose bright idea it was to send 100 delinquents to Earth unsupervised but whoever it is must have some kind of dumb bitch disease. Teenagers are all grumpy assholes. Lock us in a dropship with no food, very little sleep, and a crying Jasper and guess what you get. That's right folks, even grumpier assholes. Jasper's moaning and groaning was keeping almost everyone awake but only a few were rude enough to complain. Murphy, in particular, was being a whiny bitch about it. And poor Monty looked like he was going to cry everytime Jasper made a noise. It was really getting to me, I blame the sleep deprivation.

"That's it, I'm ending this." Murphy states, sitting up in his hammock.

"I heard Bellamy gave him until tomorrow." A girl tells him.

"Yeah, well, Bellamy isn't here, is he?"

"Murphy leave him alone." Murphy barely even bothers to glare at my protest.

"The kid's dying anyway. I'm just getting it over with." Murphy rises from his bed and Monty races to the ladder. Murphy tries to follow him. He has one foot on the ladder when I grab the back of his shirt and yank him down.

"Murphy's going to kill Jasper!" Monty tells Octavia and the two of them slam the hatch shut before Murphy can climb up again. I force myself between Murphy and the ladder to try to give them time.

"He has until tomorrow."

"Fuck off, Shaw. You can't tell me what to do." Murphy tries to go around me but I shove him, which really pisses him off. "I'm gonna kill him, okay? Let me in! Let me in, Monty!" Murphy grunts when I pull him down again. His fist swings at my head but I duck, shoving him back. He swings at me again and hits me in the temple. Oh, I'm gonna kill this bitch.

"I said leave him alone." I lunge for Murphy's throat, knocking the two of us onto the floor. Before he realizes what happened I punch him in the nose. It doesn't break but it still hurts. Murphy swears at me, finally able to retaliate, he hits me in the jaw. The whole fight lasts maybe three seconds before Connor's arms wrap around my waist and pull me a safe distance from Murphy. Murphy takes the chance to climb the ladder again but he can't open it.

"Both of you better open up this hatch right now!" He slams his fist against it but it doesn't budge.

"Oh, that's rich, Murphy. Maybe if you use your mom voice he'll just let you kill his friend." Murphy jumps from the ladder and storms over to me but Connor steps between us.

"Let it go." Murphy glares at me over Connor shoulder for a few seconds before deciding it's not worth it and going back to his hammock. Connor gives me a questioning look but I honestly don't know why I care so much about Jasper living. I shrug and the two of us go back to our spots and try to sleep it off.

A few hours later the fog finally clears. The animal noises kick back up and the creepy hissing ebbs. A few people are brave enough to open the door and when no one hears screaming we follow them outside. It's dark and the fire it almost out so I, and a few other delinquents, work on building it back up. Not long after, Finn comes back. Clarke trails behind him, Bellamy and Mbege behind her with a dead boar. Wells and Jones walk by after him with another bundle that for some reason makes me stomach drop. It's not until Bellamy speaks that my blood goes cold and I know something is wrong.

"Octavia, just stay there. Please, stay back." Octavia pushes past him, rushing to the bundle. She reaches for the fabric and I recognize it as Atom's jacket. I can't look. No, I need to look. Jones steps between me and the bundle, blocking my view, and puts his hands on my shoulders. He tries to push me away gently before I see but Octavia's too fast. She pulls the jacket away showing everyone Atom's burned face and bloody neck. My breath gets caught in my throat. Octavia whispers Atom's name and covers his face with the jacket again. I won't cry. Not in front of all these people. Crying makes you weak and I am not weak. Everyone dies. Atom was going to die anyway. Atom was going to die after me and I wasn't ready. I'm not ready. Octavia storms off and with her gone everyone's full attention shifts to me. Five sets of pitying eyes bore painfully into me and I can't fucking stand it. I take a step closer to Atom's body and everyone around me shifts.

The sight of his motionless body under the jacket makes my skin crawl. It reminds me of his claustrophobia, an ironic curse for a kid who lives in space, and the memory jars me. Before I can think twice I rip the jacket off his face. The action makes everyone around me uneasy but I don't give a shit. But I guess I do give a shit because their reaction makes me self conscious and I stomp off towards the dropship.

The dropship isn't much better. But I'm pretty sure if I let a tear slip around these people they won't judge me for it, so it's almost a step up. I climb up to the second level where Clarke, Finn, Monty, and Octavia are crowded around Jasper's body. They all look up at me. Finn's eyes drop to the jacket in my hand and I drop it like it's on fire. They turn back to Jasper and Clarke gets him to drink some seaweed tea. I join them around Jasper and try to focus on him instead. He's not allowed to die today. If Jasper dies today, I'm going to be so pissed. Clarke gives him another sip of tea and we all watch to see if he reacts. When he doesn't Clarke looks between Octavia and I.

"I'm really sorry about Atom." She says softly. Her words make my fists clench. My nails dig into my palms until I feel blood. Octavia speaks up first.

"I guess we're gonna have to get used to people dying down here, aren't we?" Octavia says. I hold back a scoff, but not very well, and they turn to me.

"People die all the time. It doesn't matter." I say, my voice scratches at the back of my throat like the words don't want to come out. I turn back to Jasper and try to make my voice sound calm instead of furious and shaky. "It doesn't matter that Atom was only 17. Or that he was two months younger than me and supposed to die after me. Or that he suffered. Or that he promised-" My voices cracks and tears sting me eyes. "He fucking promised me… that he would watch me get floated so I wouldn't die alone and then he-" I can't stop the sob falling from my lips and the pain from Atom and the humility from crying in front of everyone physically hurts. Octavia wraps her arms around me, alarming me enough that I can stop crying. I push her hands away and wipe the escaped tears off my face. Clarke, who looks incredibly uncomfortable, pats my hand before leaving the dropship.

"Sorry." I manage to whisper without my voice sounding too pitiful. I'm not sorry but I am ashamed. I hate crying. Only babies cry and I'm not a fucking baby. The voice in my head melds with Harmony's, one of the girls who took care of me in the Sky Box before I could take care of myself. And a horrible name for an arsonist who picked fights with everyone she could. She took pity on me, eight years old and thrown in with the violent offenders for a minor theft. She taught to be strong, to never cry, and to go for the eyes in a fight.

"It's okay to cry, Mal." Finn says, reaching across Jasper to touch my arm.

"Fuck off, Finn." I sniff and wipe my cheeks, trying to get rid of any evidence. Finn looks taken aback for a split second before his friendly smile comes back.

"Whiskey?" He pulls a bottle out of his pocket and looks at me.

"Yeah, okay." The two of us go to the wall, getting comfortable but still keeping an eye on Jasper. Monty and Octavia slowly follow. We all pass the bottle of whiskey between us. I've never had whiskey before. It's fucking awful. Thankfully I'm not the only one who thinks so. Everyone is coughing and gagging after each sip.

"Can I uh, get a hit of that?" Jasper's voice brings us all to our feet.

"Jasper!"

"Maybe start with the soft stuff." Finn suggests, grabbing another cup of seaweed tea for his friend. "Welcome back, buddy." Jasper holds out his hand and Monty grabs it with both of his.

"Was that a dream or did I get speared?" Jasper asks.

"You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it." Clarke tells him, climbing back up the ladder and over to his bed.

"Chicks dig scars." I add. Jasper looks surprised to see me next to him but takes the comment proudly.

"Thank you for not dying. I don't think I could've taken that today." Clarke says.

"I'll try not to die tomorrow, too, if that's cool." Jasper says making everyone laugh.


	4. Murphy's Law

After Jasper woke up we all crowded around his bedside for a while, letting ourselves revel briefly in the miracle that he was still alive. I guess not everything is horrible… just most things. We aren't allowed much time before the next horrifying thing happens. In this case, it's some girl stumbling (literally) upon Wells' dead body. It's sad that he died, even if he was kind of annoying. I think he really just wanted what was best for everyone. It's not his fault his dad was a horrible person. Clarke, especially, is broken up about it.

After we bury Wells, Bellamy announces that it was Grounder who killed him and we'd better work hard on the wall today. I still asked Dax, just to double check, but he said, 'Who the hell is Wells?' so I guess it really was Grounders.

"Shaw, pick up the pace." Murphy shouts at me. I don't care if he's Bellamy's second in command or whatever the fuck, I'm gonna kill this kid. He's been shouting at everyone all fucking morning and he's driving me crazy. Bellamy standing around and staring everyone down isn't helping either. Connor dropping a log was apparently the last straw and Murphy charged over to him.

"Hey! You think the Grounders are just gonna sit around, and wait for us to finish the wall? Maybe we should let the little girl do the lifting for you, huh?" Murphy shouts, gesturing at the youngest girl in the camp.

"I just need some water, okay? Then I'll be fine." Connor tries to placate Murphy. Murphy scoffs until Bellamy steps in.

"Murphy, get this guy some water." Murphy stomps away. Bellamy looks over at a little girl that I'd honestly never noticed before. "Hey, you got this?" The girl makes a determined face and reaches for the tree before Bellamy stops her with a grin. "I'm just kidding." She smiles at him and Bellamy carries the tree away. That was cute, I'll have to tell Harper about it later.

As soon as Bellamy is out of earshot Murphy storms back over to Connor, who's still slumped on the ground. I actually thought he was getting Connor water for a second. I'm an idiot. Instead, Murphy unzips his pants and starts peeing on Connor's back. Teenage boys are fucking gross.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Murphy?" Connor stands up and tries to hit Murphy but three guys step in and hold him back. I don't know why they won't let Connor hit Murphy. He totally deserves it.

"You wanted a water break." Murphy turns back to crowd. "Get back to work!" Connor jerks against the guys grip again when Murphy turns his back and walks off but gives up. He sheds his soiled jacket and throws it on the ground.

"Atom's jacket is in my tent, if you get cold." I offer quietly. I don't want anyone else to know that I still have his jacket. I couldn't' just let them add it to the clothing pile though. Connor manages to nod at me but he's still visibly furious and glaring at Murphy.

Everyone goes back to what they were doing. With all the drama around camp it's a wonder we get any work done. Trina would be having a field day, if anyone could find her. Shit, she's probably dead too. That sucks.

"No water till this section is up! What? What are you staring at, huh?" Shut up, Murphy. I'm grieving. He smacks a cup of water out of a boys hand and when the boy tries to defend himself Murphy and Mbege get in his face. Murphy really wants someone to punch him, doesn't he? Clarke comes storming out of a tent and shoves Murphy.

"You son of a bitch!" Clarke shouts. I wasn't expecting that but I like it. I drop the log I was carrying to watch Clarke and Murphy. A few other kids follow my lead and form a crowd.

"What's your problem?" Murphy asks. 

"Recognize this?" Clarke asks. She holds up a knife made from dropship metal.

"It's my knife. Where'd you find it?"

"Where you dropped it after you killed Wells." She says. Hm, I doubt it. 

"Where I what?" Murphy asks, incredulous. 

"No way Murphy killed anyone." I object. Murphy nods at me. "Look at him, he's scrawny." His nod turns to a glare and he looks back at Clarke.

"The Grounders killed Wells. Not me." Murphy says. 

"I know what you did, and you're gonna pay for it." Clarke says.

"Really?" Murphy says disbelievingly. He shifts his focus away from Clarke. "Bellamy? You believe this crap?"

"You threatened him. We all heard you. You hated Wells." Clarke says.

"Plenty of people hated Wells. His father was the Chancellor that locked us up." Murphy says. He has a point.

"Yeah, but you're the only one who got in a knife fight with him." Clarke also has a point.

"Yeah, I didn't kill him then, either."

"Tried to kill Jasper too!" Octavia adds from her spot in the crowd. Obviously no one had filled Jasper in because he looks shocked. Murphy scoffs and tries to find support in the crowd.

"Come on this is ridiculous. I don't have to answer to you. I don't have to answer to anyone."

"Come again?" Bellamy asks with a dangerous tone. Murphy looks to Bellamy, trying to plead with him.

"Bellamy, look. I'm telling you, man. I didn't do this."

"They found his fingers on the ground with your knife." Clarke says. 

"Seriously? That knife doesn't mean anything. My initials are on weapons all over the camp." I point out. I know I said I wanted to kill Murphy but not literally. He's not so bad under all his abandonment issues! Clarke completely ignores me.

"Is this the kind of society that we want? You say there should be no rules. Does that mean that we can kill each other without… without punishment?" Clarke asks the kids who have formed a circle around her and Murphy.

"I already told you, I didn't kill anyone!" Murphy protests.

"I say we float him!" Connor says. A few people in the crowd agree.

"That's not what I'm saying." Clarke backtracks.

"Why not?" Connor asks. "He deserves to float. It's justice!" Oh no. I know where this is going and I don't like it.

"Connor," I take a step between him and Murphy and try to keep him from escalating the situation even more, "revenge isn't justice." It doesn't work.

"It's justice. Float him!" Connor shouts. 

"Float him!" The crowd repeats, turning it into a violent chant. Murphy tries to make a run for it but someone trips him and everyone around jumps at the chance to kick him. The few people protesting are no match for the mob and soon they have Murphy beaten to a pulp, tied at the wrists, and gagged. Connor leads the group and soon they have him strung up in a tree, his toes dangling just barely above a box from the dropship. I don't have time to react before Dax has my arms behind my back, preventing me from intervening with the violent show. Clarke pleads with Bellamy to stop them but he won't.

"Bellamy, you should do it!" Connor suggests, gleeful with the thought of killing Murphy. The crowd starts chanting Bellamy's name. Murphy begs him with his eyes while Clarke tries to reason with him but nothing works. Bellamy steps forward and kicks the box away. Murphy's body drops with a sickening noise. I feel like I'm going to puke. I can't believe people are actually enjoying this. Finn comes running out of the forest.

"What the hell are you doing? Cut him down!" He pushes his way through the crowd until Connor pulls out a knife to stop him.

"Just stop, okay? Murphy didn't kill Wells!" The little girl from before shouts, making everyone freeze. "I did." Clarke is the first to react, grabbing an ax and chopping the rope Murphy is hanging from. Finn helps him take the gag off. Dax's grip on my arms doesn't loosen until Bellamy breaks from the crowd, grabs the girl, and carries her away. Murphy pushes himself up and follows them. The crowd follows Murphy.

Clarke and Finn go into the tent and everyone else stands around, mostly in shock. The four people in the tent stay silent while Murphy paces outside, shouting and cursing Charlotte and trying to get the older three to bring her out. I push my way to the front of the crowd and stand with Octavia, Monty, and Jasper.

"Bring out the girl, Bellamy!" He paces. "Bring the girl out now!" Murphy's blood lust doesn't make him very convincing. "You want to build a society, princess? Let's build a society. Bring her out!" Finn pokes his head out the tent flap but quickly turtles back inside. Seconds later, Bellamy comes out of the tent.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to join us." Murphy states condescendingly.

"Dial it down and back off." Bellamy demands. Wow, that was convincing. Bellamy hasn't spent much time with murderers, has he? Words don't really work.

"Or what? What are you gonna do about me? Hang me?" Murphy taunts.   
"I was just giving the people what they wanted." Bellamy says.  
"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't we do that right now? So, who here wants to see the real murderer hung up? All in favor?" Murphy asks the crowd. A few people, namely Mbege, raise their hands.

"I see. So, it's okay to string me up for nothing, but when this little bitch confesses, you all let her walk?" Murphy asks.

"She's a child, John." I try to reason. He scoffs in my face.

"Cowards! All of you are cowards!" He screams. The rest are uncomfortable with the idea of hanging a child. Shocking.

"Hey! Murphy! Murphy, it's over." Bellamy says. Murphy takes a step back from Bellamy and shrugs.

"Whatever you say boss." Murphy says. Bellamy accepts this and turns his back to Murphy. A bad idea, that gets him a log to the back of his head.

"Son of a bitch!" Octavia shouts at Murphy. She lunges for him but Jasper shoves her back which earns him a punch to the face. Jasper falls down. I shoot forward and punch Murphy, who punches me back so hard that I fall into the pile of logs. Not my best moment.

"Come on, let's get the girl." Murphy says, and Mbege and his goons follow Murphy's orders and storm the tent. The tent is empty and Murphy shouts in frustration,

"Charlotte! Charlotte, I know you can hear me! And when I find you, you are gonna pay!" Murphy shouts. The new mini mob goes searching for Charlotte in the woods. Octavia helps her brother off the ground. I push myself up and try to help Monty get Jasper up. Once Jasper in on his feet, I help Octavia get Bellamy into the dropship.

"Octamrphwher'mkkillm." Bellamy mumbles. We get him into a semi comfortable position just as he starts to wake up.

"What was that?" I ask. I grab a rag and a cup of water someone left out and give it to Jasper to wipe the blood off his face.

"Octavia?"

"I'm right here, Bel." She tells him. She sits on her knees next to him and clings to his arm. Jasper flops down and leans against the wall and Monty goes back to his electro-thingy. When the blood is off his face, Jasper hands me the rag and I wring it out as best I can without leaving the comfort of the dropship. Bellamy groans again and everyone turns to him. He blinks his eyes all the way open and grunts, touching the back of his head gently.

"Where's Charlotte?" He asks. Hmm, awkward. I'm gonna let Octavia deal with this one. Monty turns away from Bellamy, obviously having the same idea. Jasper looks at his hands, then turns to me and gets the rag. He's not pointedly ignoring Bellamy like Monty and I are but he gets the point. Bellamy gives Octavia a pointed look and she sighs. Jasper hands me the re-wetted rag.

"Bell, she uh- Charlotte, she's gone. Clarke and Finn took her. Murphy went after them." Bellamy lets this sink in for a moment.

"Are you gonna wipe the blood off your face or not?" Jasper asks me. Oh shit there's blood on my face? I touch my chin where Murphy hit me and cringe in pain. Jasper huffs and takes the rag back, taking pity on me and wiping the blood off. Bellamy stands quickly, swaying for a split second.

"What are you doing?" Octavia asks.

"Going after them." Bellamy says. Duh. I could have told Octavia that. Bellamy walks past her determinedly, almost crashing into Harper as she walks into the dropship. Bellamy just goes past her. Harper gives me a surprised look before her eyes widen even more as she looks between me and Jasper.

"You look like an owl." I point out. She narrows her eyes. Jaspers hand drops and he gives me the rag before joining Monty, who quickly looks away from me, on the other side of the room. "Is there still blood on my face?" Harper shakes her head yes and I offer her the rag to help. She plops down next to me and wipes the rest off.

"You know Murphy pretty well." She starts quietly. She still gets the attention of Octavia, Monty, and Jasper though.

"Almost three years, I guess. Why?" I ask. Harper stops wiping and lets her hands drop to her lap.

"Is he gonna kill Charlotte?" Harper asks. 

"No." I don't even have to think about it. "Murphy's an asshole, sure. But he's not heartless. He couldn't really hurt a little girl."

"He tried to kill Jasper." Octavia reminds me. As if I could forget, he punched me then too.

"I've fought Murphy a hundred times. The second he gets the upper hand, he gives up. If he couldn't kill me, there's no way he could kill Charlotte." They seem to accept this for the most part. Except Octavia, of course.

"Why did you fight Murphy?" She asks.

"Grudge match." I shrug.

"What the hell is a grudge match?" Harper asks. I've always wondered if other sections had it too. I guess not. Maybe our bad reputation was deserved then.

"Whenever someone does something to piss you off, instead of bottling it up until you finally snap and beat them to death with a metal bar from under your bed, you fight it out." I explain. They stare at me with a mixture of intrigue and fear. The fear mostly coming from Harper and Jasper. "Sometimes we just do it for fun, too."

"That's fun?" Harper asks. I shrug again.

"Yeah. If you do it right. There are rules." They don't react and I sigh. "We started like, 6 years ago, when some girl got so mad at her neighbor for stealing her food that she beat them to death with the metal bar from under her bed, I was like 10 or 11. A few of the older kids decided that we couldn't let that happen again and we needed a safe way to work out our grudges. It's not like the guards are going to step in and give us emotional support. A lot of kids in our section had… issues. So they made up a list of rules and then had kids fight out any grievances they had with each other. After the fight is over, they're usually not mad anymore." They let this sink in for a while.

"That sounds awesome." Octavia finally breaks the silence. "Can you fight?" I nod.

"Despite how fucked up I probably look right now, I can. The girls in my section made sure I could handle myself, since most of them were way older than me."

"Cool." Octavia says. I think she really means it, too. She grins at me and I smile back despite my aching face. The adrenaline from the day starts wearing off and the five of us settle into a semi-awkward silence. Eventually we're all crowded around Monty as he tinkers. It's so cool that he can take all the metal and wires and make it like, do things.

We stay like that for nearly an hour until Clarke, Finn, and Bellamy come back. They gather everyone around the fire and explain that Charlotte died in an accident and they banished Murphy. Bellamy ends the speech with a gruff 'Anyone got a problem with that?' like even if we did, we would tell him to his face. Then they dismiss everyone, going either to bed or to gossip and destress around the fire.

I go back to the dropship with Clarke, Finn, Monty, Jasper, and Octavia. Monty's made a big break in the wristbands apparently.

"Will we be able to talk to them?" Clarke asks Monty.

"No. More like morse code." Monty answers her then turns to Jasper. "You want to do the honors?" Jasper accepts the wire Monty hands him. "That port right there."

Jasper cautiously puts the wire where Monty pointed. For a second nothing happens, then the wristband sparks and shouts are heard throughout the camp.

"What happened?"

"It didn't work. I think we fried all the wristbands." Monty explains. Finn storms out of the ship. Clarke follows after him. Jasper takes it the hardest, slumping down on the floor dejectedly. Octavia is quick to comfort him, kneeling in front of him to talk. I stay on the bench next to Monty, unsure if he needs to be comforted or not. Not that I'm particularly good at it anyway. I don't think he does because he goes back to working on the wristbands.

"Sit there at your own risk. I think I might be cursed." Jasper says. 

"Then call me a risk taker. And Jasper, you're not cursed." Octavia tells him. 

"Unlucky then."

"No. Brave."

"Brave? For getting my face bashed in or for ruining any chance to contact the Ark?" Jasper asks.

"No, for standing up to a bully and trying to help everyone." Octavia says.

"Yeah. And failing. Both times."

"I don't care how things turned out. You were brave to try. And bravery is always rewarded." She leans forward and kisses him. I tap Monty's arm and point to the two of them kissing. It's cute! When Octavia pulls away, Jasper's eyes are huge. I can't help but grin at him when Octavia stands up and leaves the dropship. Monty gives Jasper a thumbs up and Jasper smiles at him. Harper is going to lose her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

The second I step out of the dropship, someone shouts. Not at me but still. They point at the sky, where something much too big to be a star is soaring through the clouds. I join the small group of delinquents beginning to crowd around the fire.

"Bellamy, get out here!" A shirtless Bellamy comes out of his tent, followed by two half naked girls wrapped in blankets. Good for them, honestly.

"Check it out!" Jones comes up behind us, also shirtless for some reason. "Now we can kick some Grounder ass."

"Please tell me they brought some shampoo." One of the girls from Bellamy's tent says. Bellamy, Jones, Diggs, and Octavia go into Bellamy's tent, probably to make plans. Everyone else is too hyped about the pod to sleep, so we start getting ready for the day a few hours early. Fox and Harper are by the fire making breakfast and I help them stir whatever weird goop is in the pot. It's really the only thing I can manage cooking wise and it's too dark to try to butcher any meat still. The camp is surprisingly calm given the lack of sleep we've all had, especially after the Murphy debacle. Wait, I'm trying not to think about that. Or about how Murphy is definitely dead and I actually liked him despite his glaring flaws and emotional issues.

Clarke and Finn get back to camp from whatever weird sex cave they found and Fox leaves Harper and I by the fire to tell them about Bellamy's plan.

Sometime around noon Clarke and Finn come back with Bellamy and a girl I've never seen before with them. The girl looks pissed. Clarke gathers a few people to look for a radio in the river and they all leave again. I stay in the camp, where I won't get eaten by giant river snakes or speared by Grounders. It's just basic safety, really.

Then a few hours later they come back with ideas for building rocket flares. They want to show everyone on the Ark that we're alive and the Earth is survivable. I guess the Ark is running out of oxygen, which I don't get because we had it for like 97 years so where did it go? But whatever, science is stupid.

Monty and Raven made flares out of parts from her pod and batteries from the dropship, which is pretty fucking impressive if you ask me. Which is probably why nobody ever asks me…   
Once the sun sets we get to light them. The flares cast the whole camp in a soft purple glow. It's kind of beautiful. I can't help but notice the purple light bouncing off Monty's skin, the shadows making his bone structure look like it was carved from marble or something. He catches my eye and smiles at me before I can look away and pretend I wasn't staring. He must think I'm such a creep for staring at him. Harper nudges me and brings my attention back to the flares, just now disappearing from view.

"You think we did it?" She asks quietly.

"I hope so." I don't have anyone left on the Ark but that doesn't mean innocent people should suffer. Once we can't see the flares anymore, the excitement from the past two days starts wearing off leaving everyone bone tired. We all slowly make our ways to our tents or the dropship and to bed.

A few hours later, I'm woken up by Bellamy lifting the tent flap and shining a torch in my face. Jones groans loudly and sits up. Connor and Mbege shift away from the flames but stay asleep. Dax just snores loudly and continues sleeping like a baby.

"Octavia?" Bellamy asks.

"Not quite." I say. Bellamy grunts at my response. He drops the tent flap and goes to the next one. My eyes take a second to adjust to the darkness before meeting Jones'. He nods his head towards the tent flap, silently asking if I'm going to be the one to find out what's going on. I shake my head no. Jones huffs and widens his eyes at me then he nods again towards the tent flap. I shake my head no again and he picks up a small… something. What is that? A rock or a bug? Whatever it is he throws it at me and it bounces off my forehead. Must have been a stick or something. He gives me an annoyed look and I huff at him. Fine, Jesus.

I make my way out of the tent, carefully crawling out of the small corner I was literally shoved into and stepping over the sleeping boys. I don't want to face the wrath of Dax when he's forced awake, it's scary. I crawl out of the tent flap, finding Clarke and Bellamy worriedly looking through the camp for Octavia. I catch Clarke first.

"What's going on?"

"Octavia is missing. We can't find her anywhere in camp." She tells me. Suddenly Bellamy is shouting at everyone from in front of the fire.

"Hey, everybody, gather around and grab a weapon. My sister's been out there alone for 12 hours. Arm up. We're not coming back without her." I hear an actual animalistic growl from the tent I just exited and Mbege crawls out quickly, throwing a nervous glance over his shoulder at the growling boy before joining me by the fire.

"Where's Jones?" I ask. Mbege shrugs and picks up an axe from the pile Bellamy dumped on the ground.

"Guess he went back to sleep. You coming?"

"So I can walk through a forest in the dark and die? No thanks. You have fun, though." Mbege rolls his eyes at me and the group prepares to leave the camp. I'm surprised Jasper joined them. I guess he's more into Octavia than I thought. Before they can go someone stops them.

"Guys, guys! Come here!" More people leave their tents to come see.

"What is that?" Someone points to the sky, where hundreds of bright lights are soaring through the stars.

"It didn't work. They didn't see the flares." Raven says tearfully.

"A meteor shower tells you that?" Bellamy asks skeptically.

"It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral. Hundreds of bodies being returned to the earth from the ark. This is what it looks like from the other side. They didn't get our message." Clarke explains.

"This is all because of you." Raven accuses, storming towards Bellamy.

"I helped you find the radio." He protests.

"Yeah. After you jacked it from my pod and trashed it." Raven says.

"He knows. Now he has to live with it." Clarke says.

"All I know is that my sister is out there and I'm gonna find her. What are we waiting for? Move out!" When Bellamy speaks, people follow. Clarke, Finn, and Jasper linger for a few seconds, still looking at the falling bodies.

"We have to talk to them. Three hundred won't be enough. The oxygen level will just keep dropping. And if we don't tell them that they can survive down here, They'll kill more people. They have to." Clarke worries.

"Guys... They're leaving. We gotta go." Jasper tells them. Finn tells Raven to stay and work on the radio but she needs parts. Clarke and Finn know where to find one, sharing a look which Raven and everyone with eyes can see the tension in it. Finn and Jasper turn to leave and Raven stops them.

"Hey! I love you." She kisses him and Finn hesitates for what feels like hours but is really only a few seconds.

"I love you too." FInn and Jasper go, leaving a hurt Raven and Clarke behind them. I think I have second hand heartbreak. Poor Raven. Finn's the worst. Clarke and Raven leave too. I'm dead tired but my eyes flick back to the sky where bodies are still falling. Harper and Monty join me, looking up at the sky with varying expressions of fear and sorrow on our faces. The three of us watch until the only thing left in the sky is stars. It's nearly dawn but I desperately need to sleep. I bid Harper and Monty good night and then crawl into the tent, curling up in my corner and praying I don't dream of Atom and Murphy.

I wake up a few hours later. Dax and I are the only ones left in the tent. He's still snoring away. I swear he could sleep through the apocalypse. I poke my head out of the tent, scaring the shit out of some poor girl who was standing by the flap.

"What time i- sorry! Stop screaming. What time is it?"

"It's around ten." She finally answers, pressing a hand to her chest dramatically. I nod in thanks and crawl back into the tent. Someone should wake Dax, right? I brace myself, crouching close to the flap so I can make a run for it, before kicking him hard in the ribs to wake him up. He stirs and I make it halfway out before he grabs my ankle, making me yelp. He pulls me back in and my chin slams into the dirt.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Mallory?" He demands.

"Good morning!" I try, as cheerfully as I can with a bruised chin and sore teeth. He glares at me but doesn't try to hit me, so I escape the tent while I still can. This time, Jones is standing there with a wide smirk.

"Oh good! Dax is up." He says, pointing to my dirt covered face. I glare at him and he starts laughing. His smile drops instantly when Dax crawls out of the tent behind me. If looks could kill, we'd have died a thousand times.  
"Hey, Mallory! Could you help me with this?" Harper calls from across the camp. I quickly use the distraction to run away from Dax and join Harper.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. It just looked like you were gonna be murdered." I nod solemnly.

"Thank you. He's not a morning person." Harper laughs. She picks up a big pot of water.

"Actually, I could use your help." She nods towards a box on the ground. "Can you get that?" I grab the box- which is actually really fucking heavy, thanks, Harper- and follow her into the drophship. Clarke walks past us on the way in, looking sad and guilty. Raven is back too and working on the radio. When she sees us she wipes her eyes and sniffs. Harper and I share a look before silently setting out things down and leaving the dropship quickly.

"That's Finn's girlfriend." Harper tells me once we're out of earshot.

"No way! I thought he and Clarke were fucking."

"They are." Harper says with a scandalized tone. Before we can get too into the gossip, Clarke comes over to us.

"Mal, can I talk to you?" She asks.

"Sure, Clarke." I wipe my hands on my pants and follow her a few feet away from the other delinquents. "What's up?" Clarke gives me a small tearful smile before letting her gaze drop to her shoes.. Oh god, don't cry. Oh god, don't cry. Oh god, don't- She sniffs loudly.

"Sorry. It's just- H-how did you- With Atom." She pauses. "How do move on? With Wells, I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Oh." I thought she was upset about Finn. I don't want to talk about this. Clarke digs the toe of her boot into the dirt, the action making her look more vulnerable than I've ever seen her before.

"I mean, I thought with Murphy gone and Charlotte-" Murphy's name makes me flinch but she doesn't seem to notice. "I thought it would be better but it's not."

"Just because it's over doesn't mean it's healed, Clarke. He was your best friend?" She nods.

"He let me hate him for so long. He protected me but I couldn't do the same for him." Her voice cracks and the sound makes my eyes burn with tears for her.

"Clarke, it sucks. I know. It's not going to stop hurting overnight, but it will eventually. Just give yourself time. Let yourself grieve, okay? You don't have to be strong all the time." I tell her. The words feel too harsh but Clarke nods along gratefully anyway. "At least with Wells, you know, he didn't suffer." She stops wriggling her foot and looks up at me with red rimmed eyes.

"Atom… I'm sorry. I tried to help him. He was asking-"

"Atom died in the fog." I cut her off, not needing to think about him dying alone in the burning yellow fog.

"No." Clarke shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes again. "He was alive, Mallory."

"He was alive?" My heart stops.

"He asked me to. He was in so much pain, I'm sorry." Atom was alive. He was in the fog alive.

"He asked you to what?" I know the answer, though.

"He asked me to kill him, Mallory, I'm so sorry." Before I can even process what Clarke's telling me my hand are around her throat. The two of us topple to the ground and I straddle her, squeezing the breath out of her. She claws at my hands but I don't feel anything other than pure seething hatred. Clarke make horrible choking noises that would normally make me feel sick but all I can think about is her killing Atom and making her feel what he felt. It takes two people to pull me off of her. Jones and Connor keep tight grips on my arms and waist so I can't lunge at her again and suddenly I realize that everyone around the camp has their eyes on us.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Connor asks, danger seeping into his voice.

"She killed Atom." Jones grip on me drops in a moment of shock, but that's all I need to drop down on top of Clarke and slam my fist into her nose. Jones collects himself and rips me off Clarke. He keeps a painfully tight hold on me.

"Atom died in the fog." Jones' attempt at a soothing voice makes me want to scratch his eyes out but I can't get out of his grip enough to do so.

"Don't you fucking lie to me. She left Atom in the fog for hours and then she slit his throat." Connor takes a step back, no longer trying to keep me away from Clarke.

"I had to! I'm sorry!" Tears stream down Clarke's face and mix with the blood pouring from her nose as she tries to justify herself. She manages to get a hold of herself enough to stand up and face me. "Atom was dying, Mallory. There was nothing we could do." She tries to reason with me.

"I don't care!" I scream. The emotion in my voice makes Jones' grip falter. "What? Is it supposed to make me feel better that he suffered so much? That he begged for you to kill him?" I push Jones' arms off of me and he lets me go. I need to walk away. I just need to get away from them and be alone but I can't convince my legs to walk away from Clarke while she's still conscious.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers this time, like whispering makes it more sincere.

"Just stay away from me!" I shove her and she falls on her ass. It's really satisfying. "As far as I'm concerned, you let Atom suffer for hours and when he begged you for mercy, you slit his throat. This is on you, Princess." The condescending nickname I spit out makes her flinch.

The crowd around us feels suffocating, so I flee. Trying to control myself so I don't actually run away or break down in front of everyone like a toddler. I make it to my tent before I let out a silent, painful sob. I don't want anyone to hear me. The action instantly makes my throat feel raw, like a swallowed a golf ball in the desert. My knees give out from under me and I curl into myself. A quiet sob escapes my lips and suddenly I feel like I can't breathe. I can't get any air into my lungs and my throat clenches up. I dig my fingers into the dirt but it doesn't help. My lungs spasm and I gag violently. Tears our pouring out of my eyes and snot is clogging my nose, making it even more impossible to breathe.

"Mallory?" A voice calls wearily from outside the tent. It's not one of my friends but that's as far as I can identify. I quickly wipe the snot from my face, probably just smearing dirt on myself, but I can't stop the steady flow of tears. I can't get a deep enough breath to speak to tell whoever it is to fuck off and Monty pokes his head in the tent. I guess I look pitiful enough, curled into a ball on the ground and covered in tears and dirt, that Monty feels compelled to crawl into the tent too. He silently crawls over to me, pulling me towards him. His arms go around my shoulders and back. The comfort is foreign and it shocks me so much that I choke, but I can finally breathe again and I gasp for air. Monty starts rubbing my back with one arm and I give up any dignity I might have had to cling to his shirt with both hands. He holds me like that until I can calm myself down enough to stop crying. I half expect him to start teasing me and push me away but he doesn't. He just holds me silently and rubs me back. It's weird. I love it.

"Harper told me what Clarke said…" He starts quietly. "I'm sorry." I don't have the energy to start crying again or punch him so I just hide my face in his chest so he can't look at me. My breathing is almost normal, with just a few tears slipping past my lashes.

"It's okay to cry around me." Monty tells me. I don't even want to tell him to fuck off like I did with Finn. When I don't, his arms tighten around me just a bit. I feel like a toddler again, but in a good way. Way back in my childhood, when my mom was still alive and would hold me and pet my hair until I fell asleep in her arms.

"Thank you." I can barely get the words out. Monty doesn't respond but he doesn't stop rubbing my back either. "When I was a kid I would cry all the time." Oh my god, Mallory shut up! "I don't even remember why. I think I was scared of the dark or something. Every night I would wake up and start crying, and every night I would go into my parents room and squeeze in between them. They were never mad. I thought at some point they would get tired of me waking them up but they never did." That's so embarrassing why did I say that? There's no way Monty doesn't think I'm a weirdo crybaby now. Today sucks.

"When did they die?" Okay, maybe he doesn't think I'm completely bonkers. He looks down at me, still curled into his chest, after he asks. I'm not upset though.

"When I was 7. My mom stole something. Medicine for some kid, I guess. I don't really know. But she got floated and my dad was so upset that he attacked one of the guards and they floated him too. They tried to put me in the Ark foster system but I hated it. And a few weeks after my 8th birthday I got arrested for stealing."

"What did you steal?" I hesitate before telling him. It's so stupid.

"Moonshine." Monty scoffs in surprise.

"Moonshine? You were eight."

"I didn't know what it was! I just knew that I wasn't allowed to have any and I thought that was stupid, so I stole it." Monty stares at me for a second before laughing. I can't help myself from laughing too. It feels good. Like for a second I'm normal and everything isn't all fucked up. A rumble of thunder brings me back to reality. Reality is that I'm covered in dirt and dried tears and curled up in Monty's arms. Reality is okay, I guess.

"Are you thirsty?" Suddenly I'm parched. I nod, realizing that my throat aches actually, and Monty smiles again. "I'm always thirsty after I cry. Come on." He nods his head towards the tent flap and I crawl off of him. He leads the way out of the tent, running head first into Jones and Dax who are both standing outside the tent with their arms crossed and glares on their faces. They're not mad, that's just how their faces look all the time. Monty stands quickly and I crawl out of the tent behind him. When I stand up Jones gives me a once over before glaring again at Monty.

"You good, Mal?" Jones asks, his eyes never leaving poor Monty's face.

"Yeah." Jones nods once before turning around and walking away. Dax just looks at me and grunts before crawling into the tent himself. Monty looks kind of worried so I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. The two of us walk over to the water basin and a few seconds later Harper joins us.

"Do your friends hate me?" Monty asks.

"Dax and Jones? No. That's just how they act. They were trying to be nice, actually." He hands me a cup of water. "If they hated you, you'd be dead." My words don't help put him at ease.

"You know how some people have a way with words and just being around them makes you feel safe?" Harper asks, sipping her own water. I nod. "You aren't one of those people." I frown at Harper and she laughs at her own joke. Jasper's screams bring our attention to the gate and Monty rushes over without even thinking about it. They open the gates and Jasper runs in first.

"Clarke! Where's Clarke? Get Clarke now!" Clarke rushes to join the group coming into the gate.

"I'm here. What's up? Finn? Oh my god!" Raven runs over too after hearing Finn's name.

"Get him into the dropship now!" She tells the group and they do as she says.

"Clarke, can you save him?"

"No. Not me. I need my mother."

"There's still no radio."

"Raven, fix it! Go!" Raven runs off to fix the radio and save Finn. Harper and I share a look. It's a combination of 'geez, I hope he doesn't die' and 'the drama'. A few minutes later Bellamy is shouting for everyone to get in the dropship. A storm is coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so cheesy im sorry


	6. Chapter 6

The rain and wind whip the parachute door on the dropship. It doesn't keep the rain out and the front few feet of the dropship are soaked.

"This is Raven Reyes calling Ark Station. Come in Ark Station." Raven says for the millionth time. We've only been in here for twenty minutes and I want to smash that radio to pieces. I'm still not ready to face Clarke either but I don't really have a choice.

"Please. Calling Ark Station. The hundred are alive." She tries again.

"This is a restricted station. Who is this? Please identify yourself." The new voice on the radio makes everyone press forward around Raven.

"This is Raven Reyes. I'm from Mecha Station. I'm transmitting from the ground. The hundred are alive. Please, you need to get Doctor Abby Griffin. Doctor Abby Griffin. Now."

"Hang on, Raven. We're trying to boost your signal." The voice said. Holy shit it worked. Raven did it.

"Raven, are you there?" A new voice asks over the radio.

"Mom?" Clarke says, leaning over Raven's shoulder. "Mom, it's me. Mom, I need your help. One of our people was stabbed by a Grounder."

"Clarke. This is the Chancellor. Are you saying there are survivors on the ground?" Chancellor Jaha asks.

"Yes, the Earth is survivable. We're not alone. Mom, he's dying. The knife is still in his chest." Clarke says. 

"Clarke. Is my son with you?" Jaha asks. Clarke swallows hard.

"I'm so sorry. Wells is- Wells is dead." Clarke tells him. Chancellor Jaha doesn't speak. I hate the guy as much as anyone else but I still feel bad for him.

"I'm going to talk you through it step by step." Clarke's mom says. The dropship creaks in a gust of wind and the radio signal flickers. Raven and Clarke argue and Octavia comes in with two canisters of Monty's moonshine for sanitizing the tools.

"Storms getting worse. Monroe, close the doors." Clarke decides.

"But we still have people out there." Monroe protests. Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, Mbege, and a few others from the Octavia trip are still gone. Raven and Clarke start working on Finn again.

"Hey, they're back!" Some girl shouts from the front of the dropship. Bellamy comes in followed by two guys carrying what I guess is a Grounder. They drop the Grounder on the floor roughly and Octavia glares at her brother.

"What the hell are you doing?" She demands.

"It's time to get some answers." Bellamy tells her calmly.

"Oh you mean revenge?"

"I mean intel. Get him upstairs." At his command the two guys pick the Grounder up and drag him up the ladder. Clarke walks over to Bellamy and Octavia with a sour look on her face.

"Bellamy, she's right." Clarke says. 

"Clarke? Okay, we're ready." Her mom's voice comes over the radio again.

"Look this is not who we are." Clarke tries to reason with Bellamy.

"It is now." Bellamy always does what he wants, I'm surprised Clarke hasn't figured that out yet. He makes his way to the ladder but I stop him with my hand.

"Where's Mbege?" I ask.

"Mbege is dead. So are Diggs and Roma." He says, his voice hard. He climbs up the ladder and shuts the hatch. A few people around me eye me wearily. No one has really said anything about the bruises on her neck but their eyes flickering between the two of us says enough. This time it isn't Clarke's fault though. This time it's Bellamy's and Octavia's. If she hadn't run away like a little brat, no one would have had to go into the forest to look for her. And Bellamy… well, I just don't like him.

Raven shoos everyone up to the middle level of the dropship so she and Clarke can work on Finn. It's pretty cramped but without any of the chairs or pipes it's not too bad. I find Jones, Connor, and Dax and sit next to them. Atom, Trina, Pascal, Wells, Charlotte, Murphy, Mbege, Diggs, and Roma. Now Finn. Plus those two idiots from when we landed. I don't even know their names. Between the storm, the Grounder upstairs, and Finn downstairs everyone is on edge. Why are all my friends dying? Why can't someone I hate die instead? I hate this fucking dropship. I need a distraction.

"Hey, Connor."

"Yeah?"

"I think your jacket is ugly and it still smells like piss." The three boys stare at me for a second before grinning. Connor smirks and raises an eyebrow.

"Well, Mallory." He emphasizes each syllable of my name because he knows it annoys me. "I hate that you're covered in mud all the time. Take a bath, dude." The two of us hold eye contact for a second before leaping up, almost in sync. A few people around us take a step back and look concerned.

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"Coward." I say in a sing-songy voice. Connor glares, his smirk slowly dropping into a hyper-focused expression. This is going to be awesome. Dax and Adam both stand up too. Forcing people farther away from me and Connor to give us room. "What are you gonna do, Connor? Hit me?"

Finally, his eyes flicker to my knees and he lunges forward. He always goes for the knees first and I'm prepared, darting to the side so he rushes past me. I turn quickly to face him again but not quick enough and he gets his arm around my neck so my back is pressed into his chest. I elbow him in the ribs and he instantly lets go, giving me the chance to whirl around and punch him in the nose. He recovers quickly and knees me in the groin, which really fucking hurts. I try not to hunch over and instead I reach up with my elbow and slam it into the side of his head. He drops to the floor. Jones cheers loudly, drawing the attention of everyone on our level to Connor and I. Connor uses the distraction to swipe my legs out from under me and I slam my ass onto the ground. He crawls onto me and grabs both my arms, using all his strength to hold them down. I manage to pull my knee up towards my chest so it's between us and push, throwing my body into it and flipping us over so I'm on top. I move my knee up so it's pressing against his stomach, which makes it hard for him to breath. He still has a grip on my arms and we grapple for a bit until I pull one arm out of his fingers and punch him. His grip on my other arm loosens and I punch him again twice until he stops fighting back. I stay on top of him, holding him down and Jones drops to the floor. Connor starts trying to wiggle out from under me but I keep him pinned.

"Five! Four… three… two… one and a half."

"Come on, Jones." I complain.

"One!" I let Connor go and Jones hauls me up, thrusting my arm into the air. "Mallory Shaw, everybody! Our champion of the Grudge Match!" Jones cheers again and once everyone realizes we weren't fighting out of anger they slowly start getting into it.

Connor is still on the floor, so I hold my hand out to help him up. He takes it but glares at me and spits some blood on to the floor. Boys are so gross. Jones resumes MC-ing.

"Come on! Who's next? We have time to kill and grudges to solve. Who's next? Don't be shy!" One of Bellamy's henchmen steps forward. I don't know him personally but he's alright.

"I want to fight Dax." Connor and I 'Oooh' loudly and Dax gives the guy a hard glare.

"Dax, Dax, Dax." Jones starts chanting obnoxiously until Dax nods once, agreeing to the fight. Jones cheers again. "Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen! You are in for a treat. Reigning champion Dax Shepard versus… this guy. What's your name?" The kid steps forward proudly.

"James."

"James!" Jones echos. "For those of you who don't know, grudge match rules are as follows. Rule number one, no killing! Rule number two, no weapons. Rule number three, no eyes! Got it?" Jones looks to James, who nods.

"Sacrifice!" Connor shouts from behind me. Oh no. Not me. Not again.

"Sacrifice!" Jones shouts excitedly. "Mallory?"

"No! No way." Connor shoves me into Jones and Dax and Jones grabs my arm and thrusts it into the air.

"Sacrifice! Mallory Shaw, do you accept the terms of being the sacrifice for this match between official murder crew member Dax Shepard and Josh."

"James."

"No! I've said no like a thousand times." Jones thrusts my arm into the air again anyway.

"She said yes!" Connor cheers, and following his lead a few more people cheer nervously. "Dax, weapons?" Dax steps forward, shedding his jacket and tossing it to the ground. He pulls a knife from his boot and detaches the axe from his pants. He holds out his arms and Jones frisks him quickly but effectively. He tosses the weapons onto the ground a few feet away and out of reach of the fighters.

"Jim, weapons?" James glares at Jones but steps forward too, copying Dax. He only has a knife on him but Jones confiscates it and adds it to the pile. Once they're both weapon free, Jones shoves everyone out of the way to make room. Dax and James circle each other and I stand as close as I can without risking getting hit. I hate being the sacrifice.

The dropship lurches, throwing James into Dax before either were ready. Before Dax can attack, the hatch above us opens. Everyone freezes, like we were caught doing something bad, and Drew climbs down.

"What was that?" He asks.

"Just the storm." I offer, hoping he meant the dropship moving and not the shouting. He nods and climbs back up.

Once the hatch closes, all eyes turn back to Dax and James. Dax takes James' moment of distraction and throws himself at the boy. The two of them slam into the ground and Dax throws the first punch, directly into James' eye. The boy curses and I assume the fight is already over, but he surprises me by ripping out of Dax's hold and punching Dax back. He surprised Dax too, I guess because James manages to get out from under him and stand up again. Dax stands giving James a deadly look. I don't know if James remembers that Dax literally beat a man to death or not… James swings his fist towards Dax, who leans out of the way. James feigns another hit and Dax leans the other way, swinging his head directly into James' fist. His fits collides with Dax's ear. God, that's gotta hurt. Dax only looks angrier. He brings his leg up and kicks James in the chest. James falls onto his back and gets the air knocked out of him. Dax doesn't give him any time to recover before slamming his fist into James' face repeatedly. James stops fighting back but Dax doesn't quit. This is exactly what the sacrifice is for. Before it can get deadly, I throw myself into Dax, knocking him off James. Jones grabs James under the armpit and drags him away while I scramble back away from Dax before he can hit me too.

"Sacrifice!" Connor yells excitedly. Dax stares me down for a few seconds but stops, not going after me or James. As soon as we're sure Dax isn't going to kill James, Jones grabs my arm again.

"Sacrifice! Mallory Shaw! Jake, you owe Mal your life. How does that feel?" James groans, blood dripping off his face. "Dax, you broke the rules of the grudge match. As the sacrifice, Mal owes you one penalty hit." Dax glares at me but stands to take his penalty. He rises to his full height and holds his arms stiffly by his side.

The hatch below us opens, causing us to pause again. Everyone is silent as Clarke climbs up, past our floor and up to Bellamy's. She leaves the hatch open and I look to Jones. He looks at the hatch, back to me, and shrugs.

"Just do it." Dax tells me. I take a step towards him. I take a deep breath, clenching my fist and focusing all of my emotions into the one penalty hit. I take another breath before throwing my fist forward with all my body weight, colliding with Dax's ribs. He folds forward clutching his ribs and breathing through the pain before standing up straight. I'm not that strong but I know it hurt. Dax and I shake hands.

"Clarke, he's seizing!" Raven calls from the floor below us. Clarke rushes down the ladder and Bellamy slams the hatch shut after her. Someone closes the bottom hatch and once it's sealed we all cheer. A few seconds later Clarke comes back up the ladder and bangs on the hatch until they let her up. Octavia follows her. This time they leave the hatch open, allowing us to hear most of what they're doing to the Grounder. Mostly it's Bellamy shouting and the Grounder grunting in pain. Everyone on our floor shares looks with varying levels of concern. The Grounder's sounds of pain make me feel sick. As soon as Raven follows Clarke up, I climb the ladder and shut the hatch so we don't have to listen.

The reminder of the Grounder and Finn makes everyone's mood drop. No one is really up to fighting anymore, especially with James groaning in the corner. The poor idiot really thought he could take Dax. Everyone is just kind of standing around, waiting for someone to tell them what to do so I take the mini position of leadership and climb down the ladder to the bottom floor. Finn is still laying on the bed, slowly dying from the poison. The door of the dropship is silent, so I chance it and open it. The rain is over. I'm the weather queen.

Clarke and Raven come to the bottom floor and pour a vial of liquid into Finn's mouth. I try to ignore them so seeing Clarke doesn't piss me off and climb back to the main floor.

"Storm's over. Who's hungry?" The cramped delinquents are happy to leave the dropship and follow me out. The camps pretty fucked. The tents are all blown around and most of the buildings are knocked over. Monroe walks up next to me in the front of the group and turns towards the crowd.

"Alright, guys. We need to rebuild and make dinner. Someone get Bellamy and make get a group for hunting. Everyone else, get the tents!" Monroe leads the group, while our regular leaders are busy. She's pretty good at it and everyone follows her orders with minimal mumbles and grumbles. I'm about to find Harper and have her help me find Jasper and Monty but Monroe stops me.

"You think you could teach me to fight?" She asks, a mixture of humble and apprehensive.

"Sure." I answer easily. "Be quick and go for the eyes."


End file.
